Thursday, February 2, 2012

Tim Hortons heart shaped donuts, seriously?

Honestly, what marketing fucking genious thought it was a great idea to make heart shape donuts with cute sprinkles on top and God knows what's inside?

I mean, I'm sure they taste delicious, but who's gonna buy the fucking thing?  You really expect me to walk in, buy it, and give it to the hot blonde I see on the subway frequently with a hallmark card "thinking of you"?  Sure, if I've decided to become abstinent again.

I can't even include the fucking donut in a dozen to bring to my co-workers.  It's getting left behind, and the desperate single guy that bought the cholesterol in a box should be the guy to eat it.  Either that or you'll get the entire department cutting it into a million pieces so "everyone can have one" or translation: we don't want anyone in here to know we're not happy with our fucking marriage or that this little piece of heaven is better than any fuck I've gotten since last Valentines.

So who do you market it to? Who knows? I'd probably make myself a bums ransom if I got a loonie for every person that "it's for the kids"ed it if anyone even shot them a half second glance while they were paying for one.  Fuck, I'm half embarrassed to order a maple donut with a chili combo.

That's my rant for the day, or whenever something else pisses me off.

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